Removing Grandma's rugs!

I won the argument! Well it wasn't really an argument, grandma is 94 and as sweet as ever, but she wasn't going to let me remove the rugs in her house. Why? Wait for it ... Because they are protecting her carpet. I have heard this exact response from other seniors when I've suggested they remove their rugs.

                                                     Grandma Darling 94 yrs old

Last spring I attended a seminar on "Fall Prevention" by Jackie Hickey from Bayshore Home Health. I have never looked at a rug the same.

Some statistics on falls:

• About one third of the population over the age of 65 falls each year, and the risk of falls increases proportionately with age. At 80 years, over half of seniors will experience at least one fall annually.
• As alarming as these numbers are, these documented statistics fall short of the actual number since many incidents are unreported by seniors and unrecognised by family members or caregivers.

• Frequent falling. Those who fall are two to three times more likely to fall again.
• About half (53%) of the older adults who are discharged for fall-related hip fractures will experience another fall with in six months
• Falls are the leading cause of death due to injury among the elderly. 87% of all fractures in the elderly are due to falls.
• Falls account for 25% of all hospital admissions, and 40% of all nursing home admissions. 40% of those admitted to hospital do not return to independent living and 25% will die within a year.

Where seniors fall:

• Nearly half of all injuries among seniors occur at home. The bathroom and stairs are particularly hazardous due to the risk of slipping, tripping and stumbling often on rugs.

So, although it took me several visits to persuade my grandmother to give up her rugs, I finally persuaded her to roll them up and give them away. Now I can sleep just a little bit better knowing that I have prevented a possible fall.

Tips on Taking the Hairiness out of a Haircut!

So it’s time for a haircut … You have a lot of questions going through your mind … Will my child be frightened? Where should I go? Will the stylist understand our needs?”

1.  There is no specific age in which a child should get their first haircut. My middle son was born with a full head of hair and so at 3 days old, he got his first haircut. Uncommon yes, but neither right or wrong.
2. Don’t make a “big deal” about this event. Often parents are telling me as I walk through the door that “Johnny hates to get his haircut” while Johnny stands beside them clutching at their pants and listening to every word. Children are constantly changing, so give your child a chance to like getting their haircut this time.
3. If you act like it is a non-event, it will be!
4.  Timing is crucial. Make sure that your child is not tired or hungry. Make an appointment at their “happiest” time of day.
5. Be friendly to the stylist, this is comforting for your child and then ease your way out of site! Yes, out of site. You are their safety net and there’s a good chance that if they don’t see you, things will run smoothly.
6. Have a couple tricks up your sleeve. Bring a favorite toy or gadget, something that is comforting to your child and pull it out when you need it but not until then.
7. Have a favorite snack or treat handy. Preferably dry treats such as crackers, so the hair won’t stick to them.
8.  If you are going out to a salon, find out when their busy times are and avoid this time of day. Too much noise and chaos may be upsetting.
9. Arrive 15 minutes before your appointment so you are not rushed. This will give your child time to get comfortable. Make sure that you are relaxed. If you are anxious your child will be too.
10. If all else fails, have the stylist cut your hair first while your child watches - even if it is a “pretend cut”.
11. Ask your friends to recommend a stylist that is great with kids.
12. Another option is to have an in-home haircut. Companies such as Haircuts on Wheels will come to you in the comfort of your home. Having a haircut at home eliminates many of the issues that arise when going to a salon.  Your home is a comfortable and safe environment, less noise, convenient and there is no preparation before the haircut.

The Power of an Exercise

One weekend last spring I read a story about Kensington Hospice. It was beautiful and touched me deeply. I decided that I wanted to become part of what they were doing and for me, this would mean "making people look and feel beautiful" by doing their hair.

This month I am enrolled in the Toronto Hospice course. We are learning a lot and I am experiencing feelings I never knew I had. It's a journey. The course is 35 hours and is completed over about 5 weeks. It is mandatory for all hospice volunteers. I want to tell you about an exercise we did in class last week.  The topic was Grief and Bereavement. You can do it yourself if you want...

Start with a piece of paper and cut it into 12 small pieces. Take the small pieces of paper and make three rows of four squares each on a table in front of you. That is the easy part.

Next on the first row choose 4 people you love most in the world - write their names down on the first 4 squares of paper ... of course you love more but you must choose only 4. On the second row pretend your house was on fire and you could safely run in and grab 4 things that mean the most to you - write those 4 things down. On the last row - write down 4 of your biggest dreams or goals in your life.

Now imagine you've not been feeling well and have had some medical tests done. The doctors office calls you to come in. Take 1 square from each row away.

You meet the doctor and he tells you that the prognosis isn't good and that you have 4 months to live.
Take 1 more square from each row away.

I don't really have to finish this exercise because I'm already crying. I have only a glimpse of what my client is thinking and feeling. As a volunteer at the hospice I will be offering clients a shampoo, scalp massage, haircut and styling and a chance to relax for a few moments and feel beautiful inside and out.

A brush ... healthy hair ... and healing.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how much conditioner, olive oil, vegetable oil, wide tooth combs and DETERMINATION you use, sometimes it is not possible to untangle matted hair after weeks and months of being bedridden.

I met Susan recently at a Toronto area hospital. Susan had been in bed for many months, moved from one hospital to another and her hair had been badly neglected. The hair in the back of her head was so knotted that it was uncomfortable for her to lie her head down. I had been told before the appointment that it might be necessary to cut the knots out. At the time I had thought that would be unnecessary. I would never let "tangled hair" determine a client's cut and style. I would use the whole bottle of conditioner if necessary to smooth out Susan's hair. Hair is an important part of a person's identity and to cut out of necessity and not choice is a difficult thing to do.

Imagine being sick for months and then someone cuts your hair off too.

But I couldn't get the knots out. I stood back and looked at Susan's lovely, fine featured face. There was only one thing to do ... I had to sell a new hair style. So I smiled and got excited and told her it was time for a new style, something fun and easy, a wash and wear style. We discussed past hair styles and decided on an angled bob with bangs. She had not had bangs in years and wanted to try them again. We kept the hair longer in the front to create the illusion of length and went short in the back to get rid of the knots and reduce the chance of future ones. I had to move quickly since Susan could not sit in the chair for very long.

After the cut, I gave Susan a quick blow dry and finished with an amazing scented spray...

She loved it!

So my friends, please brush your loved ones hair daily, it will keep their hair healthy and the touch will help them heal.

First Haircut Ceremony

A child's first haircut is a special moment and many parents like to snap a few photos and keep a lock of hair as a keepsake. My appointment last Sunday was for a very special cultural ceremony where I would be shaving the child's head. I walked into the family's home and found the living room filled with family and relatives who were gathered to witness the "first haircut" of Dhrub, two and a half.
The room sparkled with colour as everyone was dressed in traditional wear smiling and laughing as they watched the rituals being performed. There was great energy and a feeling of connectedness - it was beautiful!
Dhrub was a superstar! I set up and let him pick a movie from my collection. He picked "Mickey's Twice Upon A Christmas". I wasn't sure if this would be a problem, a Christmas movie at a Hindu head shaving ceremony, but his mother laughed and said he loves Mickey! So Dhrub watched Mickey as I shaved his head. His niece held a bowl to collect his hair and the family watched on.
When I was finished, Deepa, Dhrub's mother presented me with a gift. A fancy little purse that held a gold anklet, a package of bindi which are small jewels worn on the forehead and a betel nut. All are important Hindu symbols and I was deeply touched that she would give me such a gift.
As I left, I watched Dhrub walk down the hall playing a game on an ipod touch.
It is wonderful to see that we can honour traditions in our modern world.

Making Mary beautiful one last time

David called on Thursday to request an appointment for his mother Mary who was in pallative care in his home. He wanted to get her a haircut to make her feel better. I offered Monday and he said that he'd rather not wait that long, so I came two days later on Saturday morning at 9:00.
I was nervous, not sure how I would react to the sadness I was already feeling towards a woman I had never known. To know that you are giving someone a haircut for the last time in their life is terribly sad. Early Saturday morning I went to the gym to clear my mind, to charge my energy and strength ... to prepare.
When I arrived, David met me at the door with a cheery spirit and a light heartedness and all my fears fell away. He was a funny guy, the kind of person everyone likes to be around.
He led me into the room where Mary was sitting. She smiled, she had those eyes that danced and although she was frail, I would not have known she was near death.
I washed her hair, massaged her head and then gave her a lovely pixie cut. David chatted away, keeping the air light. When I finished her hair, David walked over and kissed his mother and told her that she looked beautiful. She was lucky to have him.
Before I left I gave Mary a lollipop and a hug. She smiled and I knew she felt as good as she possibly could.
Two weeks passed and I received an email from David and this is what it said

Hi Kimberly

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you.

Mom passed away the next Monday after your hair visit.

" I can't tell you enough how great I feel" mom said after you left.

I really appreciate how you made her feel and laugh. She said it was an awesome hair cut.

Thanks again

Sad things can also be beautiful!

There are people and then there are people who change the world

 ... Karen Meredith Blott is one of these people.
I met this woman two years ago. She had three children at the time and had seen my business cards at a children's centre and called for haircuts. Lovely woman, engaging, energetic, kind, generous, beautiful and incredibly intelligent. I don't know what we talked about that first visit but I left feeling inspired.
She is one of those people.
Two years later their fourth child Conrad is born with Downs Syndrome and their world takes on a new and wonderful world.
In one year since Conrad was born, Karen has founded Circle 21 born out of the need for more resources and support for families and children with DS. Circle 21 focuses on health, education, employment, independent living, and peer-support-networks. While many organizations work hard at the local level to help people with DS, Circle 21 adds national and global resources, working with government, corporations, non-profits and others to coordinate significant, positive changes in the systems that support those with DS and their families.
On March 21, 2012 in Celebration of  World Down Syndrome Day, Circle 21 holds their first ever event and it is wonderful. The room is filled with family and friends and there is lots of love and warmth. It is not like being at any other event. There is a young band playing, there are young adults with DS serving lovely appetizers and their artwork is part of a silent auction.
I am looking at the silent auction items when a beautiful picture of a bird catches my eye and I think of my mother-in-law and how much she would love this ... and then I notice Nicole, the artist who is standing their watching me, clearly proud of what she has accomplished. And so we chat and she tells me where she took the photo and about her life and it is all so very beautiful.
The rest of night was much like this, a night of empowerment not only for families and children with DS but for everyone who was there. My favorite words of the night was when Karen says "Conrad has taught me that a whole new world of perfect exists".
There are people and then there are people who change the world!

Are you living your dream?

Not long ago I was having wine with a girlfriend and during the evening she told me a story about a conversation she had recently with her husband and how she had said to him "are you living your dream because I am".
Wow, are you living your dream? Think about it!
These are some powerful, beautiful and possibly sad words.
Before three years ago I may not have replied yes. I had been searching for what I wanted for myself in life. I had been on this journey for many years, trying lots of things and being good at most of them but not great or maybe a more accurate word is passionate.
I wasn't unhappy and I've always felt lucky but I wanted something for me.
And then one day it happened. I was having wine, yes more wine with a different friend while 6 kids ran around waiting for their turn for a haircut ... And the idea of bringing haircuts to others in their home came to me. A couple nights later I mentioned it to my husband and he agreed it had potential and thus Haircuts on Wheels was born.
Before this moment, I had been letting life lead me. I had no goals, no dreams. Imagine!
We all need goals and dreams. I didn't know this.
A dream gets you excited,brings you beyond your immediate world and makes you passionate. Have you ever felt passionate about something. It is one of the best feelings ever. It wakes me up
in the night, it makes me exercise harder, sing louder, because it feeds my energy.
Find your passion, dream, make a plan and set goals.
Only you can create your dream! And then live it!!!

"I thought you would be ugly and old".

As I approach the 4 storey building, I am wondering what Marion is like and Brian ... her son who booked the hair appointment. I do know that Marion is 92 years old and fairly mobile for her age but not enough to make the journey down her 4 flights of stairs and into a car to go to a salon. This is why I am here.
I knock and Brian opens the door. I smile and say "hello, my name is Kimberly." Brian returns the greeting and says "I just want to warn you that my mother isn't happy that you're coming here. She wants to go to her own salon, to her own stylist she's had for 30 years." As he speaks I can see Marion sitting on her couch at the end of the long dark hallway. I smile, I've heard this before and I assure him "we'll be just fine".
I walk into the room and she has long, long, long white hair that is tied up with a tattered, red ribbon. I instantly know I will love her and then she says ... "well, I expected someone ugly and old" and I burst into laughter.
And this is how the next hour went as we discussed a "new" style, something that suited the shape of her face and her lifestyle. She told me great stories of her life, of how she use to dance and she would break out into song every once in awhile. Marion was so full of energy, her eyes sparkling. I had wished that I had a magic wand that I could have waved and made her body young again so that she could dance.
She spoke of how she only had one son and he was wonderful to her and he was. She was very lucky.
When I finished I asked her if I could take her picture to put on my website. She didn't understand what I meant but she didn't want me to take it.  Even though she loved her new look, she did not feel beautiful enough to have her picture taken.
This made me sad. Had I failed? We had so much fun, she really did look amazing and she was beautiful but she could not see this.
As I drove home I decided that I had not failed and that this was just a reminder to me of how fragile the human spirit really is.